HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD review: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Salma Hayek can’t save this snoozefest

 

2017’s Hitman’s Bodyguard was a breezy but forgettable action-comedy that harkened back to ’80s buddy cop films like 48 Hours and Lethal Weapon. While it never reached the heights of either of those action classics, the notion of a sleek international bodyguard (Ryan Reynolds) forced to protect a ruthless assassin (Samuel L. Jackson) had a lot of potential, even if the needlessly complicated plot bogged the movie down. Four years later, we have Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, a sequel that only the film’s stars and studio execs seemed to be clamouring for.

As the clumsy title implies, this go-around features the addition of Darius’ wife Sonia (played by the great Salma Hayek, who somehow manages to out-curse even Jackson here).

The film opens with Michael Bryce (Reynolds) in therapy, lamenting his decision to hang up the bodyguarding business. Thankfully, that retirement is short-lived, as Sonia soon reaches out to enlist his help in rescuing her husband Darius Kincaid (Jackson) from the clutches of mobsters. After they manage to break Darius free, the trio is cornered by an Interpol agent (Frank Grillo, who by law has to appear in every major action movie) who needs their help in tracking down the mastermind terrorist Aristotle Papadopoulos (Antonio Banderas), who has some cockamamie plan to blow up the European power grid.

It’s all fairly ridiculous, but at least the cast and filmmakers seem to be in on the joke. With Patrick Hughes back behind the camera once again, Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard somehow manages to exceed the spy-thriller-on-angel-dust tone of the first film with decidedly mixed results. The main actors all scream out each and every one of their lines, which are usually derivations of profanity-laced insults. Hayek, in particular, seems to get a huge kick out of this, and she brings a certain manic energy to the role even if the script doesn’t offer her that much to do.

It’s hard to criticize a movie that’s purposefully over-the-top, but that doesn’t necessarily make for a watchable film. With the exception of an unexpected Morgan Freeman guest role, Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is an extremely loud action-comedy hybrid that commits the cardinal sin of simply being … dull. With all the main characters so detached and nonchalant as they flit from action set piece to set piece, it’s impossible to care about what happens to any of them throughout this endlessly tiresome experience.

There is so much great talent here that gets completely squandered away by an overblown script and performances that never go below 11. Unless you’re in dire need of some theatre-grade AC for two hours, Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard isn’t worth putting on pants for.

Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is in theatres now.