Montreal Fringe interview: Colette Kendall’s ‘The Cock Whisperer’

Colette Kendall’s The Cock Whisperer: A Love Story, is more than just a provocative title. It’s a wonderful and true one-person storytelling show about Kendall’s quest for love: loving herself, and ultimately, another being. Sure, it’s heterosexual love, but I’m sure we can all relate in one way or another; self-realizations, sexuality, and violence come under many forms, and are not exclusive to any one orientation. Colette masterfully engages the audience by serving up brutal honesty with well-paced humorous moments to ease up the dark places within the show, all recounted in vivid detail and with a sprinkling of cock facts throughout. I laughed out loud, I exclaimed sympathetic “awww’s,” I got angry at the men in her life who acted very poorly.

As a mother of three and approaching 40, Colette realized some time ago that her degree in biochemistry was going to lead her nowhere. So, she took a leap and joined her first improv class, and she’s been gaining accolades ever since. I’m not giving anything away, but if you manage to get yourself a ticket to see this award-winning multidisciplinary entertainer, this empowering show is a must see!

A few days ago I had the chance to ask standup comedian, actor, improvisor & executive director of The Staircase Theater in Hamilton, Colette Kendall, about her craft, words of wisdom, and the road that led her to performing.

Bad Feeling: Has performing The Cock Whisperer for [nearly a decade] evolved in any way throughout?

Colette Kendall: Technically, the show has been around for 7 years; however, I generally only perform once or twice a year, making it still feel very fresh to me. I wrote The Cock Whisperer while on the road in 2009. I workshopped it on my 2009 Fringe tour, actually writing it 2 days before stepping onto stage in Winnipeg, a brutal thing to do – you are being reviewed continually, usually on your fully developed stage ready pieces. Instead, I decided to put the creative process (writing and performing the piece daily) on stage. The plus side was that it did provide instant feedback. By the end of the tour (12 festivals), the show was receiving good reviews, including 5 stars. That process, however, was particularly hard. What I did not anticipate were so many women privately writing to me to tell me their stories of abuse – at that time I was too close to the subject matter, so I stepped away from the show and performing as a whole, not to remount it again until 2011 in Edmonton. With time and distance and a bit of rewriting, the show lost the emotional drain for me and became a really fun piece to perform. I was never interested in using the show as therapy – my goal was to present a work that deals with the grey areas of life and relationships and let it fall where it may. I’m always surprised by the different groups of people the show engages and the messages they take away from it. It’s very common for women in their 40’s and 50’s to attend the show only to come back again with their daughters, which I find joyful. I’m also much better equipped [now] for conversations on domestic violence.

What led from standup and being an improviser and character performer to wanting to finally reveal all in The Cock Whisperer?

Stand-up, improvising and character performing were all the necessary tools I needed to get me to a point where I could have the confidence to do what I ultimately wanted to do; perform as a lone woman. Confidence and experience allow you the courage to take greater risks with your comfort zone, which allows you to become more naked, metaphorically speaking.

Your husband John was the first to suggest that you do standup—what was the motivator to go to beyond that into improvisation, acting, writing—or is it all part of a greater whole?

I first started by doing improvisational theatre, which I loved. It felt like you were 3 years-old again in the sandbox playing, just making shit up and everyone around you was doing the same thing. Stand-up and acting were a natural progression to becoming a solo performer. Each of these genres teaches important lessons—stand-up makes you become a brutal editor in search for the ultimate comedic effect—you learn to trust in yourself on stage. Improv allows you to realize the audience is actually your stage partner, and you pull and push energy between yourself and them. Acting let’s you explore, and teaches you not fear silences.

You went from student to becoming executive director at The Staircase Theatre, how did the transformation occur?

The foundations of improvisational theatre are often surprisingly similar to Buddhist principles—be in the moment, actively listen, be positive, accept offers from others and add to them. Just say, “yes and…” Fear often makes us say no, but no stops possibility. At 40, with no theatrical background whatsoever, I said yes to taking improv classes, then stand up and so on, until I became a solo performer. In 2009, when I was asked to rebuild the then defunct Staircase Theatre, I felt that this was a unique opportunity to build community and incubate the arts locally. I said ‘yes and,’ and waited to see what would happen. Today I program over 100 events monthly in the space, you name it we’ve done it. Hamilton has one of the hottest arts and cultural renaissance’s happening in Canada right now.

You’ve mentioned in another article that fear is what keeps us from trying new things. Were there recent times you still felt fear and how did you overcome them?

All the time – just do it.

You have a degree in biochemistry—looking back now, are you glad you didn’t pursue it?

Absolutely—it wouldn’t have been the right path for me. I’m too used to following a butterfly flight pattern in my life—a career in that field would not have allowed that. However, the education and experience I received in getting that degree is one of the best investments in self and critical thought that I’ve made.

What makes someone a strong & compelling performer?

The ability to risk, a fearless commitment to honesty and a fascination with the human condition.

Being that you’ve worked with other notable actors (Joyce DeWitt, Cindy Williams), who are your influences back then & now?

Eddie Izzard—he combines improv, stand-up, intelligence and acceptance of sexuality into all his performances. Tremendously funny, thought-provoking and moving.

With today’s level of awareness about sexual assault, domestic abuse and chauvinism—have you noticed a difference in your audience’s reactions? Is it easier to talk about sex to a general audience these days than when you first performed The Cock Whisperer?

Change can be a slow process. The title of this show and the difficulties that I often face in the promotion and publicity of it provide a yardstick to gauge progress. The title at first glance may seem just merely racy, attention seeking with shock value; however, I put a great deal of thought into it, and an even greater amount of just downright stubborn persistence not to cave and change it.

The title was based on 2 parts.

1. The format of the show and the content is a sort of reverse Vagina Monologues so Cock Whisperer just made sense.

2. A cock whisperer is urban slang for a woman who has had copious amount of sex—why does this word exist in the first place? What number of sexual partners defines this? What is the equivalent male term? It’s bullshit. So if a middle-aged mom of 3 can make that word lose it’s meaning, all the better.

Marketing-wise, of course mainstream theatre will not come near me with a ten-foot pole, and even media is reluctant. The title is almost always starred out in print. In my hometown of Hamilton I tried to purchase ad space for my upcoming run. I was first told they would not allow me to run an ad with the title – that I had to change it to The C***whisperer- A Love Story. I told them that now it looked like the Cuntwhisperer, and if you think people have a problem with Cock, try that one on for shits and giggles. I had to compromise at The C*ckwhisperer- A Love Story.

They then told me that they would not run my current photo that shows 1/3 of 1/2 of a man’s buttocks. I pointed out that in their current issue they had run an ad for the Everything to do with Sex show with a woman lying naked across the page, mid back to mid thigh, with a dollop of whip cream on her full buttocks and the caption, “For desired results rub vigorously,’’ as well as an ad for Puppetry of the Penis. In the end, they changed the name, removed the man’s buttocks from the picture and then photoshopped out the microphone. Even with the man’s buttocks removed, the phallic impression of the microphone stayed with them. I finally had to point out that sometimes a microphone is just a microphone, and they put it back in.

If you were growing up now, would The Cock Whisperer have a different timeline?

For sure. The internet has completely changed the timeline experience for many young women including the expectations, privacy and dignity of the sexual experience.

Looking forward, where do you want to be?

Ideally, the goal is figuring out a way to balance my time more effectively between the incubation of new artists through The Staircase Theatre, and allowing myself the space I need to be more creative. Hopefully that will still happen on the Fringe circuit with new pieces that will push me into unfamiliar territories.

Take your mother! Bring your daughter! Even the egalitarian boys & men in your life! The Cock Whisperer runs at the 2016 Montreal Fringe until the 19^th of June. Grab a program for showtimes, or visit the Fringe site here.